12 Things He Will Love About You

I recently wrote the 12 ways to win her heart Listicle.

If turnaround is fair play than a reciprocating list(icle) seems appropriate. I’m not a dude (thank God) but I know a couple and I’ve done some research. Here is the  list, sure-fired to win his heart.

12 Things He’s Going to Love About You

1.) Climb a Tree. Ok, it doesn’t have to be a tree, but do something. Something that reminds you to be spontaneous and free. Not the dishes! Aspire to do more than playhouse and if you find somebody that wants to playhouse, especially if they only want to playhouse, RUN AWAY. He’s boring or he wants you to be, or needs you to be.

2.) Laugh Out-loud.
Don’t laugh when he smashes his finger changing your flat tire. (Even though that shit is funny) but do laugh at his jokes, his attempts to cheer you up and especially laugh when he’s being corny. It’s okay to laugh. Let go, laugh at Nacho Libre, not all movies have to be chick flicks to be good.

3.) Care as Much About His Thoughts and Opinions as You Do Your Own. Put your inner narcissist down for a minute–you look great and you’re really smart–but you’d look even greater and be even smarter listening to him too, at least he’ll think so.

4.) Don’t Nag. There’s a difference between communicating and nagging. He’s sensitive to your criticism, maybe, or maybe he’s just not as critical of you as you are of him. Think how you’d feel if the tables were turned.

5.) Take Care of Yourself. It’s sexy to keep your legs shaved and a coat of mascara on, but you’ll have an even better grip (on yourself) if you take it up a notch and get your workout in too.  He might be sad that you’re taking off without him but the reward will be well worth it and you’ll both be happy about it. (Plus you can’t blame him when the years slip by and your bottom starts to slide down your leg.)

6.) Forget.  Maybe I’ve just been lucky but most men don’t keep a running tally of tit-for-tat damages. Don’t fall into that trap. If you’re going to forgive than be done with it. Walk away from it.

I’m talking about normal conflict. Obviously you should walk away from abuse and abusive behavior, but to get hung up on who’s right and who’s wrong is always a lose lose scenario.  If he made you mad because he forgot your birthday (ugh birthdays), your first kiss anniversary (ugh anniversaries), your favorite food, forgot to call, forgot to fix the leaky hose, whatever, you can’t keep a running tab. Let it go or you will both be miserable.

7.) Be Happy and Excited Not Pouty, Resentful, or Dramatic When He Walks in the Door. If he likes you chances are he’s been excited about coming home to see you all day. When the door opens and you are reunited make it a happy event. There’s nothing better.

8.) Be Adventurous. It is so boring to say no all of the time. Do it enough and your sparkle will fade. He wants to see you smile and be happy and maybe he’s hoping that means a little adventure, not just a nooner. Why not hike South Sister, or join a bowling league with him… I am just saying that if he’s inviting you to do things that aren’t your “cup of tea”, you better at least try them out. They might be his passions, you wouldn’t want him to give up the things in life that make him smile would you?

9.) Know or Get to Know Your Body and Your Sexuality. I believe that every solid relationship should be firmly rooted in great sex. There are potentially dozens of other, equally important, facets of a great relationship, but most men are sexual beings too. Surprisingly there are still a lot of men who need your sexual confidence to allow them to explore their own sexual desires and fantasies. Do both of you a big favor and get comfortable in your skin, comfortable with your desires and with your kinky side.

10.) Cook a Good Dish or Meal (One or Two Amazing Things Should Be Enough). He doesn’t need you to be Betty Crocker, you have way too many adventures to go on to be in the kitchen all of the time still, he will love you even more if you can make his favorite fajitas or throw together the best lasagna he’s ever had. Heck, master a good crusty bread recipe and some chicken noodle soup. (If all else fails, learn how to make a great turkey sandwich.)

11.) Don’t Forget His Delicate Ego. For some reason if you start giving me compliments I start not trusting you. I wonder about your motives and why you are so full of crap, men don’t seem to suffer from this. Maybe other women don’t either, I don’t know. Tell him, tell him what he does well, what you are impressed by, how funny he is, how hard of a worker he is, how creative, whatever it is that he’s good at, make sure you tell him.

12.) Be Present. Put down the smartphone, the laptop, the book, the laundry. If you are going to build a life together, or even if you just want to make the best of this moment, right now, then why would you squander it on a distraction? It’s just going to get easier and easier to take your time together for granted. Stop it.  Do you know how far it will go when he looks up to see you looking at him?

I’m going to give you one final thing to ponder. A Baker’s dozen.

13.) Stop overthinking everything. Really, men are simple creatures. Unfettered, uncomplicated, that is what he really wants. Life is hard enough. Don’t make it harder, don’t mistake the chaos you seem to be able to stir up as a validation to your worth.

 

 

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16 thoughts on “12 Things He Will Love About You

  1. So many gems on this list.
    Why is this one so difficult to grasp?

    “There’s a difference between communicating and nagging.”

    Lol. Nonetheless, we are genuinely severely simple individuals. We really do not require a lot to be happy. Along the way, women just complicate this understanding on what they need to do, to keep him happy. I am grateful I made this clear for my wife while we were dating.

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  2. A good list. I am a guy, so here are some adjustments or suggestions for them. On number 10, you don’t have to be an awesome cook, just be able to make food he likes. Don’t ever make that food if you are trying to get something from him. It doesn’t have to be awesome food, for me red beans and rice with sausage is a great meal but if I only got it when she wants something it would remove all the goodness from it.

    Number 11 – simply be appreciative of him. I personally get joy from working with my hands though this is not my money making career, it’s a hobby. To be appreciated for doing what I like doing is a double bonus. If I save 200 bucks by doing a brake job in the driveway that takes 14 hours, appreciate that I have the knowledge and skill to do it and saved a bit of money. Appreciate that I enjoyed doing it and that I feel good for being able to do it. Yes, it would have been quicker to pay someone to do it, but that does nothing for my selfworth.

    Number 13 – this is a big one. If he’s with you, THAT is your validation. Don’t complicate the process. He’ll want to wake up fresh each day and not drag out what happened yesterday at lunch while brushing his teeth. When he gets home he is trying to release the pressure from the problems of work… please don’t add more by insisting that he jump to your schedule of conversation. Let him work into it, after a time you’ll know when he’s mentally made the switch. The drive home is not a time where he can make the switch because it too is stressful.

    You missed one – Be Patient
    Not everyone makes decisions like you do. Men like to understand how things work and do them for themselves if they can. It is part of how men derive self worth. That process can take time so pushing for results before he is ready to accomplish the task can both unsettle him and push him to abandon something that could be beneficial for all. Sure, there is a point of diminishing returns but work with it and see how you can make the most of such efforts. Imagine if a guy criticized your make up skills? Well, fixing the fence is like that for guys, as is plumbing problems and so on. The point is that men derive self worth from different places than women do and this is a good thing. We don’t like to talk about it all the time, learning something new is great, getting a new tool to do something is great because it enables us to garner more self worth. It cannot be said that a new vacuum cleaner does the same for the females. We think different because we are not simply making decisions we are judging our self worth by what we are capable of doing. For some men that includes their capabilities in the kitchen.

    Well, that’s how I see things, perhaps I’m unusual?

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  3. Awesome list. I think I’ve learnt most of these things the hard way, but have come out the other end a better woman. I now rejoice in the simplicity of men, and of my man in particular. There is no shit. We (women) are full of complexities and shit. Men are so straight forward and it’s fantastic.

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  4. Pingback: Your Genie is a Carpet Ride Away | Matilda the Moonraker

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