For Once In My Life

For once in my life I have nothing to say. I don’t have writer’s block. I simply have nothing to say. It’s not that I’m not thinking about you, I’m certainly not out of stories to share. Haven’t forgot you are there. Though I try not to pretend that you actually care. Just a place to practice and hear my own voice, to remember to write and…especially to think.

I read it once that someone said she writes so that she knows how she thinks and feels because she doesn’t  unless her head is sorted into words, on paper. Though I don’t know wheather it was on real paper or virtual paper, at the time I thought she the weaker of us two. “Shame on her for not knowing her heart and being sure of herself until she penned the thoughts in her head.” Then I tried to write the things I was so sure of…

To write them and give them legs to stand on…

To expel the clearness in my heart–in it’s fullness–to words that are not jumbled, don’t stumble, falter, fall…fail. It’s hard. More difficult than a painting or a photo or a drawing…as hard as any physical task or mental challenge that I have embarked on.

I hope that by realizing how inadequate I am, how feeble, that it gives me something; resolve, determination, awareness? I am more humble than I once was. Day by day I am learning to admit when I am weak, fragile. Where I am weak, when I will break. How I am weak.

So, for now–and I’m sure, just briefly– I have nothing to say.

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “For Once In My Life

  1. I struggled with this for the past several days. Being prodded and pushed to write anyway. I described it not as writers block, but as a lack of emotion – a void I could not give a voice to. After being pushed and prodded enough I finally let out a loud roar (thus my not so much like myself post today). I prefer it your way —- if unable to give them legs to stand on, wait until you can walk again.

    This was fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isadora Duncan, the pioneer of modern dance was asked to ‘explain’ her dancing. Similar to your thought about ‘nothing to say,’ without hesitation she said:

    If I was able to explain it, I would not be able to dance it.’

    jack

    Like

  3. Nope-
    M-m

    Just highlighting the rare comment ‘I have nothing to say.’ Truly, how many of us can say that? From what I’ve seen in your posts, you have ‘a lot’ to say, and words of thought, humor, faith, merit, conviction, and words that challenge.

    Please don’t take my comments as verbal sparring, they are meant as the highest compliment. If I may add another thought regarding I.Duncan, I was so impressed with that remark by her re. ‘things that can’t be put into words,’ I took that as a challenge to appreciate for instance music, that I may have passed by.

    To this day, good (or different) music stirs emotions I never knew I had. At that point, ‘I have nothing to say……………’ It’s all good, friend, see you down the road.

    BTW, you started this business by liking a post of mine,—-lol

    Like

  4. Well, MM,
    Here’s something to think about, since ‘nothing’ can be a very good thing. It was personal, but it applies to you.

    Years ago, when talking to an artist, (canvas, paint etc) I remarked on my pathetic skill in that craft. Immediately I was chastised, and to this day, have never received a finer compliment, for I was told:

    ‘But you paint with words………….you select a word that is just right, the correct amount of syllables, the correct cadence, the length, the RIGHT color………………etc.’ Oh my, was I humbled, whether it was true or not is up to the reader, but the point was made that some people can do things that others cannot.

    And that small voice of compliment has been a steady fuel to desire to paint more.

    Keep painting MM.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s