I Like it Hard


It takes all kinds people. We are all different. Even when you think you’ve found your soulmate you may be disenchanted with how starkly different you both actually are. Take my spouse and I for instance.

We like so many things different, almost to the point of being in contention with each other. I like chocolate. Well chocolate and peanut butter–not required to be together but not opposed to that either–he likes fruit, vanilla, tarts, bread, fro-yo, sherbert, Greek Pears–pears cooked in syrup with mascarpone cheese on the side, my famous blackberry pie, bread pudding, pretty much everything before chocolate. (It’s not that I don’t like those things, I just don’t understand the logic behind consuming calories [or worse, putting *gasp* refined sugar in your body] eating things that are merely “lovely” and not exquisite and almost perfect.) I eat (fresh) fruit because I have no other choice…can’t eat only chocolate or only peanut butter…the rest…meh

I like ranch dressing, he likes vinegar or lemon juice with olive oil. I like Cobb salad he likes gross…I mean green salad…(we both like Greek Salad). I like Thai, he likes Japanese food. I like granola…oh wait we both like granola… Oh–I like crawfish, and pan-fried, fresh trout with cornbread, he doesn’t. he likes eggplant, I like grilled zucchini, he doesn’t…I like running, he hates it (but he’s kicking butt doing it for me and this upcoming Ragnar Relay–thanks babe.)

Our latest point of contention, and you tell me if you don’t agree, I like hard penetrating and deep, he likes slow and methodical. I like up and down but he prefers back and forth. For my part, I tend to like the feel of firm pressure but he says he likes it softer. When it’s over I always want to do it again but he rarely goes the full-time. Sometimes I swallow, he usually spits. I’m not saying that there’s a black and white or right and wrong way to brush your teeth but I kinda feel like I’ve got some credibility in the matter except there’s no telling him anything on the subject at this point.

So I imagine all couples have their differences. Seems like it’s mostly about not dwelling on the small stuff and making the most out of the times you can relate to each other, or accept the things that are each others differences. Maybe the same holds true for all of us trying to identify with one another.  All of us so fundamentally different yet seeking out how we are the same, sometimes only to be let down once we see past our desired perceptions. The trick is not to not expect a lot out of life (Do Expect A Lot…that you intend on getting through your own efforts) but to not expect everyone else to have the same expectations…maybe. Well I am not an authority on that matter. It works for me though, so far.


17 thoughts on “I Like it Hard

  1. “Sometimes I swallow, he usually spits.” That was rather hilarious. Lol. I agree that it is not about dwelling on the small stuff, because I have witnessed folks dwelling on the small stuff, yet missing the big piece of the relationship–each other. My wife eats exotic foods, and spices that make her dishes give off a strong aroma. Should I divorce her? Heck no.

    We are from different cultures, and though I may joke about certain dishes from her culture smelling like butt, she laughs, I laugh and we go about our day. The big picture is the union between us. Sadly, people miss out on the big picture, focusing all their energy on foolish arguments.

    I have not had an active online presence due to offline projects, but I am slowly coming back. This post was a great one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Each of us can be a victim to letting our annoyances leave us less tolerant, detached and even resentful. I’m not entirely immune but I do have moments of clarity. 🙂 Often it’s a blessing and a curse to have a short memory. 🙂


  2. Matilda, Your way with words is surpassed by your willingness to discuss all. “Penetrating” writing. From an older man! Another comment I made to your comment on Mihran’s website: Matilda, How neat was your post about liking old men! Hope I qualify at 67. All you relate & reflect on is so true. What you leave sort of unsaid is how older men are putty in the hands of younger women like you! I had a recent reflection/conclusion on that myself. I think what I assumed was lust & sexual desire is really just an appreciation for younger beauty & wanting to talk & share some tenderness just through the attention & talk a younger woman gives us if we are so lucky. What do you think? Phil from excuseusforliving.com & on Facebook Philip Fontana.


  3. Pingback: Your Genie is a Carpet Ride Away | Matilda the Moonraker

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