Sure, I promise to teach you to paint rainbows on clouds, catch unicorns with glitter, unclog the stuff that stops up your desire and hope; leave you in the unfamiliar, but you have to choose to come. Only if you have the courage to endure the pain of discovery and be steadfast enough set aside the addictions, distractions, barriers that dull the pain…the stuff that leaves souls numb, unconscious, discovery undiscovered…un-pursued.
That’s crap…probably…I don’t know anything earth shattering and I certainly haven’t figured “it”out yet. Blah blah blah…I know only this: Life is screaming by. I won’t spend it watching tv, waste it on commercials or being told how to think and see the universe. That said, I can’t say that I set out to try everything once, just for the sake of checking it off a list. I do things because I think I will like them, because I am interested, or curious, or challenged. There are adventures afforded a girl who grows up in a tiny town in the sticks and I like when I surprise people.
This was intended as a bio, a bio wouldn’t be a bio without a useless list of hobbies: I like skydiving, running, racing, traveling, boating, kayaking, whitewater rafting, swimming, biking, tree climbing, entomology, various forms of art, cooking, eating, dancing, everything in nature (except jackass hornets)…caves, cliffs, rock climbing…beaches…exploring, creating…and stuff…just keep going, you get the picture.
We are not created equal. I am thankful for that. I don’t want to endure the trials that I have seen other loved ones go through and they would not want mine…Everyday can seem a battle to survive, only moments of pure bliss sprinkled throughout…each to their own ability, do your best
The Day will come when I go and stand naked before whatever God there is, he, she or them will strip away all of my iniquities, all of my flaws, all my heartache and trial, my missteps, addictions, falters, and faults…my pain…I will be left utterly naked down to the components of my heart. My joy, my intention, my good deeds, my capacity to forgive (not only others but also myself.) My genuine love for the creation around me and for you is all that I will have left to hold out before me. That I let big stuff matter…to the best of my ability I stayed out of the pitfalls of my weakness…naked down to my heart…that’s all I will be. I want to like the naked person standing there at the mercy of her God, recognize that ultimately I am the one who will have to forgive her for imperfections…my God is perfect, I am not.
I’m a mom, wife, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, granddaughter, and princess or queen whichever the situation dictates. Blessed with four boys, an Oregon Native, from cow-country on the Eastern side of Oregon. God’s country (because, no one else wanted it).
Why do I blog?
I ask myself everyday. I am convinced that everything worthy of saying has been said by smarter and better “men”… in the end, the only answer I find; I must like pain. I have more nuts around here than I do bolts (pun intended) a girl’s got to take advantage of whatever opportunity she can find to salvage the bits of her sanity, ha! …to convey meaning, tell a story, elicit a response…like all things worthy of doing…I need practice. (Loads of it.) So here I am. Practicing.
…hoping that I didn’t lose any tiny shred of sparkle and mystery that I may have had previous to spilling my guts.