If You’re Lucky

You told her to get a life. Find something better to do. So she did, but now she’s too busy for you.

Selfish. That’s what has become of her, what it feels like to her, being normal. Where once being a good wife, a good mother, having it all, meant falling on her sword…for the greater good. A martyr’s common mistake.

That the world won’t be okay without their blood without their sacrifice. The selfless giving away of…all of it. Who told her that, why did she make that her fairy-tail? Kiss away hopes and dreams, ambitions for an endless story and no kingdom, only a king.

“Get a life”, like a light switch she remembered when she was full of life, when she thought she still had time to chase butterflies and clouds and dreams.

Now she’s dreaming again–like riding a bike–she still remembers, she needs practice, but she’s getting faster and stronger. Only, now she barely has time for you, it’s not selfish, she’s alive, all of her. No fetid, stinking necrotizing odors. Not practicing origami, or stacking marbles, she’s not going to play by anyone else’s rules.

She’ll wear dresses or pants or go naked. She will climb trees, swim naked, drink spirits, eat chocolate and she won’t apologize, won’t agonize.

If you want her love, take it. Consciously, confident. Don’t cage her, hold her or make her, she won’t abide. She no longer thinks about what’s expected or who’s to blame, she’s thinking about laughing, and dancing, and writing. (If you’re lucky, she’s thinking about you.)

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13 thoughts on “If You’re Lucky

  1. “M.” Reading you makes me miss you. Hope you realize the appeal of your style writing……It’s that free persona that comes across, open, independent, & maybe ready & willing to be a little naughty, whatever that means & may be. …still steals me short of a breath for a passing moment…..Phil…. raking leaves, leaves, leaves & more leaves, the New Jersey brand

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “M,” Me again. Did you ever consider interspersing your paragraphs above & in all posts with a few photos of yourself, past or present, that sort of go along with what you’re saying? Preferably more present photos. Takes more time but do it fast at home, even if not on a location that takes more time; at home while “laughing, and dancing, and writing,” as you say above! People need that smiling face to clinch the deal with your appealing words, which themselves are like on the edge of a picture of YOU! Phil….& I just want to see you more….

    Liked by 1 person

      • M, True, but a photo here & there might serve to feed the imagination some. Great! You may try some photos! From above….yes, flirty but so appealing & “crisp and beautiful and the fall air is magical”…..Yes, but the leaf raking sure turns the magic into drudgery. That’s why most people in our socio-economic demographic have a landscaper & snow removing service. But not the Fontanas! Still hanging on to the old ways….plus our yard & driveway do have their unique layout & characteristics which almost defy hiring someone. What to do when we are too old??? Sell!!!!!!!!!!! Phil

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Matilda – I am feeling this story is a love and romance showing their appreciation differently. My cousin was reading your blog over and over and she felt very strong about. Life a romance like a ocean and the stars!

    Liked by 1 person

      • In fact, I was trying to tell a story to encourage people, to not forget who they are, what they are passionate about and to recognize when they are letting go or setting aside the things that make them happy.

        Like if you fell in love with a wonderful woman, spent all of your time with her and gave up music. It might take you along time to realize what was missing, you might even blame the woman you fell in love with, but we make those choices not someone else. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be a choice but there always is. You are your best advocate.

        Like

  4. I love this.. It speaks true to my nature, and it beautifully written. It reminds me of this snippet I stumbled accross a while back on tumblr:

    β€œIf you find a woman
    with a wild heart
    do not try to tame her.
    You must adore her
    recklessly, the way
    she is meant to be loved.
    Do not try to quiet her,
    for her roars will reach
    far and wide.
    She has something
    important to say.
    Help her say it.

    Do not get in her way.
    She stops for no one.
    Do not try to change
    the path she has chosen.
    Learn also to love the wind
    and let it change you.”
    β€”
    C.B. Wild-Hearted Woman

    Hear Hear! For us wild- hearted women πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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