I’m Too Sexy For My Glasses

I’ll be honest, I was hoping you wouldn’t see me this morning. Sure I had a smile on my face but I was wishing, instead, for a bag over my head.

If you see me in the morning commute, dropping kids off at the pool…er, I mean at the school–or either actually–and I am wearing my “nice mama” glasses, you will know, I have given up on the day already. At least I am strongly considering it…another story, for another day perhaps…

Nice Mama GlassesMy “nice mama glasses” are hideous. A pair of wire rimmed glasses more than ten years old, bent, scratched and really, really ugly, they were the emergency back-up pair to my “sexy librarian”, Kate Spade, tortoise-shell frames that inevitably fell victim to a puppy several years back.

I only wear the “nice mama” glasses out of desperation, late at night or mornings when getting up early enough to put in contacts seems insurmountable.

For whatever reason Orion, 4 years old, has named them my “nice mama” glasses.

“mama, can we get under the covers and watch a movie together?” he will ask.

“Aw!” Heart melting, “Yes, that sounds nice. You are so sweet.”

A satisfied smile will sweep across his whole face, then the tiniest flicker of a shadow before he will decree;

Photo on 12-16-15 at 12.06 PM

without my “nice, mama glasses”

Photo on 12-16-15 at 12.06 PM #2

with my glasses that make me suddenly nice.

“but first you have to put on your “nice mama” glasses.”

Sometimes they are my, “good mama” glasses it just depends on the day.

Weirdo little kids. Just like weirdo adults, they have ideas in their heads about what different things mean, even innocuous or arbitrary items that come off and on. I promise you, I am just as mean and nasty with my “nice mama” glasses on as I am without them.

I’d like to get another pair of “sexy librarian” glasses, I actually see a pair in the very near future. It’s tough being so sexy and not having a pair of spectacles so that everyone else knows it too…Until then, even though I hate the ratty, crooked, scratched-up, gold-rimmed, “nice mama” glasses, I am glad someone thinks they look good on me.

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2 thoughts on “I’m Too Sexy For My Glasses

  1. “M,” Neat just to have you return to “the air waves” after what seems to be a long time!
    “Nice mama glasses,” “good mam glasses,” Orion has got you pegged or wrapped around his little finger!!! Just wait until you get the new glasses & he says, “sexy mama glasses”!!! Everyone today is doing the “tortoise-shell thing” as the sexy way to go. Maybe your contacts are your Megyn Kelly look! But the heavy rimmed glasses seem to be the brainy-sexy way to go! People are putting the contacts away! You’re lookin’ good above in anything even wearing nothing……now that didn’t come out right….or maybe it’s my subconscious!
    So have a Merry Christmas & Cheer in 2016!!!!!
    That other “Matilda Moon” on Facebook drives me nuts…. I must have friended her too by mistake ages ago!
    Miss your naughty spirit in my life! Did you like our Rhine River trip on “Excuse Us…”? Phil

    Liked by 1 person

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